Little Mighty Listener
Over the past few weeks, I’ve stepped into one of my most cherished new roles—being an aunt to an adorable little angel. Spending time with this sharp and curious two-year-old has been immensely fulfilling and therapeutic. What has fascinated me most is how quickly she picks up new words. Not only does she repeat them instantly, but she also uses them later in the right context, almost flawlessly.
It’s a delight to watch how her tiny mind absorbs everything around her with such attentiveness. As I was watching her in awe, my mom told me, I and my sibling had picked up 4 languages by the time we were 3 years old.
As a Behavioural Neuroscience Coach & Trainer, this experience made me pause and reflect. If we are born with such incredible listening abilities—able to absorb language and meaning almost instinctively—why do listening skills emerge as one of the most common gaps in adulthood? Why do we hear phrases like “Listen carefully” as children, and later in workplaces encounter feedback like “You missed the essence of the discussion” or “You seem distracted”?
Somewhere along the way, are we losing touch with this natural gift?
Learning- Early in Life
Listening begins long before we enter the world. Studies show that by the 26th week of pregnancy, a baby can already hear sounds in the womb. Towards the later stages, the foetus even begins to recognize familiar repetitive voices. From the moment a child is born until about the first year of life, listening is the only way to learn words, grasp language, and express emotions.
This explains why toddlers are natural masters of listening. Every interaction is a learning opportunity. As we grow older, we begin to rely more on other senses—seeing, touching, observing—to interact with the world. Slowly, the conscious practice of listening starts to diminish.
The Listening Gap
The decline of listening skills is not only anecdotal—it is backed by research.
We listen at 125–250 words per minute, but our minds can think at 1,000–3,000 words per minute, leaving plenty of room for distraction.
75% of the time, we are distracted, preoccupied, or forgetful.
We retain only 20% of what we hear.
A recent study shows that 68% of executives consider active listening is essential for effective leadership. Yet less than 2% of professionals have ever received formal training/ coaching in active listening.
These gaps explain why so many workplace conflicts, missed instructions, and failed collaborations stem from poor listening.
Listening as a Leadership Competency
Unlike early stages in our careers, where technical expertise may matter most, leadership roles demand the ability to listen deeply—both to what is said and what is unsaid.
Active listening allows leaders to:
- Lead with empathy by listening to stakeholders’ challenges and aspirations.
- Coach effectively, to create empathetic and motivated teams.
- Build trust, as people feel valued when they know they are truly heard
Listening is more than a communication tool. It is an act of respect, a way of building trust, and a skill that strengthens relationships. Whether in boardrooms, classrooms, or family rooms, listening has the power to transform interactions.
Rediscovering the ‘Skill’ We Were Born With
Watching the little angel has been a timely reminder of the natural ability we all start with—the ability to listen actively, attentively, and without judgment.
As adults, perhaps the challenge is not learning to listen but relearning it, consciously.
My learning from this reflection is simple: “If we can once again listen like children—fully present, curious, and open—we may rediscover one of the most powerful skills we already possess.”
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