What does success mean to you?
Is it from heart? Or is it from brain? I always wonder as a corporate professional with a HR background how businesses approach success. In today’s world even though there are many avenues to stay connected we might feel disconnected.
Why is it so?
These questions have been lingering in my mind for past 10 years. Successful education, good family background and a decent career with intermittent breaks made me feel more imbalanced in the “brain side” of the success. It said, “You could have explored more avenues of success from the organisations you have worked for and become wealthier as well”. However, “my heart side” told me: “You are doing great things a responsible student, a trusted employee, loving daughter/daughter-in law, supporting wife and caring mother” … You did not miss the first step of your son neither treatment days of your mother when she needed you very much!
Success isn’t a fixed destination-it’s a dynamic balance between the brain’s ambition and the heart’s wisdom. The brain often chases outcomes: promotions, wealth, recognition. The heart, however, measures success in moments: being there for your son’s first step, holding your mother’s hand during treatment, nurturing relationships, and living with integrity.
🧠 Brain-Side Success: The Metrics
- Titles, salaries, KPIs, shareholder value
- Strategic planning, performance reviews, ROI
- Often externally validated and socially rewarded
But it can feel hollow if it’s not aligned with our personal values. Like my heart is whispering “You could have done more…”
❤️ Heart-Side Success: The Meaning
- Being present for loved ones
- Living with compassion, integrity, and kindness
- Creating impact that may not be quantifiable—but is deeply felt
Which kind of success brain-side or heart side you will connect more with
I connect more with heart-side success with meaning. It’s the kind that doesn’t show up on a balance sheet but transforms lives.
What if we can reframe success not as a compromise between heart and brain, but as a symphony of both.
I recently read Red Helicopter: A Parable for Our Times by James Rhee, and it reshaped how I think about purpose-driven leadership.
James Rhee was a Harvard-educated lawyer turned private equity executive who seemed to have it all: wealth, influence, and prestige. Yet beneath the surface, he felt disconnected from his values. His turning point came when he stepped in to lead Ashley Stewart, a bankrupt fashion brand serving plus-size for Black women. On paper, he was the least likely candidate he wasn’t from retail, didn’t reflect the customer base, and had no fashion background. But he brought something more powerful: humility, accountability, and a heart guided by a childhood memory.
As a young boy, James once shared his lunch with a classmate. Days later, the boy’s father gave him a small gift, a red toy helicopter. It was a simple gesture of gratitude that embodied kindness in action. Years later, that same spirit became James’s compass for leadership.
On his first day at Ashley Stewart, instead of talking about restructuring or financial metrics, he spoke about trust, kindness, and showing up for one another. He told the story of the red helicopter. From there, he protected employees from hostile vendors, listened deeply to their concerns, and rebuilt systems grounded not just in efficiency, but in dignity and respect.
The results were extraordinary. Ashley Stewart not only survived but thrived, delivering strong financial returns and becoming a case study in values-driven transformation. More importantly, James redefined leadership-not as authority or strategy alone, but as the courage to lead with empathy, moral clarity, and human connection.
For me, this book is a reminder that sustainable leadership is not about titles or tactics-it’s about purpose. And sometimes, the smallest acts of kindness can shape the greatest transformations.
Leading with emotional intelligence involves three key aspects:
- Empathy: The ability to connect with others’ feelings and perspectives, creating trust and understanding.
- Awareness: Recognising one’s emotional state and its influence on behaviour and decision-making.
- Adaptability: Managing emotions and responses in challenging situations to guide the team with clarity and purpose.
By integrating emotional intelligence for leaders into their approach, leaders unlock the potential to inspire, uplift, and unite their teams.
As an ending note I would like to quote a famous Hindi movie ‘Dil Dhadkne Do’ ‘Dil se faisla karo tumhe kya karna hai … dimaag tarkeeb nikaal lega’ which translates to ‘Decide from the heart what you want to do … the mind will find a solution for it’!
In a world obsessed with strategy, sometimes the most transformational decisions come not from spreadsheets, but from the soul. Dil se faisla karo (Decide with your heart)… the rest will follow.
Leave a Reply