“We plant seeds which will flower, so for results in our lives, the best is to remove the weeds of anger, avarice, envy and doubt” —- Dorothy Day
Any signal/message received from five senses in human body first goes to thalamus, where it is translated into brain language and sent to the Neocortex, where the information is analysed and assessed for appropriate response. If that response is emotional, a signal goes to amygdala to activate the emotional centre for physical response.
In some cases, the emotional messages directly sent to Amygdala by avoiding the Neocortex and analyzation thereof. Because of this, the human beings are often empowered and forego their capacity for discrimination and blindly believe whatever they see or hear and fail to think empathetically.
Emotions & Feelings
>Emotions are associated with bodily reactions that are activated through neurotransmitters and hormones released by brain in response to our interpretation of a specific trigger and form a kind of feedback loop between our brain and body.
>Feelings are the conscious experience of emotional reactions. These are often fuelled by mix of emotions and last for longer than emotions and can travel from one part of the body to another.
Emotional triggers are those super-reactive places inside you that become activated by someone else’s behaviour’s or comments.
What is mean by Emotional Intelligence?
EI is the skill of perceiving, understanding and effectively managing emotions by being “heart-smart” not just “book smart”.
Emotional Intelligence Model
Two American psychologists from Yale University, John D Meyer and Peter Salovey first defined the phrase “emotional intelligence” in the academic literature in the 1980s. Daniel Goleman and another American psychologist later built on their work. Emotional Intelligence affects how we manage behaviour, navigate social complexities and make personal decisions that achieve positive results. It is made up of 5 core skills that pair up under 2 primary competencies that is Personal and social as under
1. Self-Awareness/Knowing your Emotions
> Knowing how your emotions affect your performance and learning from experiences. These people openly acknowledge their shortcomings. They see that work is done well in advance.
2. Self-Regulation/managing your own Emotions
> Controlling your temper, Control yourself talk, controlling your stress by being positive and to think before acting.
3. Motivation/Motivating Yourself
>Enjoying challenges, seeking our achievement, commitment, ability to take initiative, optimism and being guided by personal preference in choosing goals.
>The ability to see other peoples’ point of view, behaving openly and honestly by considering others’ feelings. Skill in treating people according to their emotional reactions.
5. Social Skills/Managing Relationships
>Managing relationships to move people in desired directions.
Tools for Building Emotional Intelligence
>Write down the Emotions
When you feel a strong emotion, write down the emotion as soon as it pops up in your brain. Just the act of naming the emotion and writing it down diffuses the power of that emotion in your AMYGDALA because it engages your prefrontal cortex.
The objective is to ask you the strategic questions that can change the focus when a person is emotionally charged or about to get hijacked.
S-Stop means do not act immediately when you are in negative emotion state.
T– Take deep breath and observe what emotion is with you and imagine that emotion is going out from your body as light going out.
O-Observe negative emotion if any, and find out how it has come. Replace it with positive emotion.
P-Pullback. You come back yourself psychologically with positive emotion.
It touches on all the five components of emotional intelligence. It helps to reduce Anxiety, Depression, Stress, and Nervousness.
Because of this, you will see the difference in your emotional state. This state control back to your prefrontal cortex, away from your Amygdala, making you centred again.
>Help others in need
>According to Research, it is found that mortality rate goes down by 33%, if we spend time on weekly basis helping others in need.
Benefits of Emotional Intelligence
1. Emotional Intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at work and achieve your career and personal goals,
2. It helps to communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and mange conflict.
3. Applying EQ makes you feel comfortable within your own skin and with people around you.
Anyone can be angry –That is Easy…………………….
But to be angry with the right person,
To the right degree
At the right time
For the right purpose
And In the right way
That is NOT easy…………………….
But to make Easy — You all knows what to do…….?