Interpersonal communication involves in the exchange of information, ideas, and feelings being exchanged verbally or non-verbally between two or more people. Face-to-face communication often involves hearing, seeing, and feeling body language, facial expressions, and gestures.
It was Albert Mehrabian, a researcher of body language, who was the first to break down the components of a conversation. 55% of communication is body language, 38% is tone of voice, and 7% is the actual words spoken. Only 7% of a message is conveyed through words, while 93% is nonverbal. Approximately 90% of communication is unspoken.
It is interesting to note that in relationships, communication is the most important magic ingredient/masala that makes the dish—in this case, the relationship—effective, constructive, and rewarding with the people around you. We communicate all day long, at home with family, friends, and at the workplace with colleagues and peers.
With data showing that 93% of communication is unspoken and 7% spoken, there is a very high chance of being misunderstood, mostly because of misplaced body language, gestures, or nonverbal responses—enough to damage a good thing going. The very wise Lord Buddha said, “Words have the power to both destroy and heal,” making it even more imperative to choose words and actions wisely.
Interpersonal communication is self-awareness: what message/information does one want to get across, and what are the choices to pass that information for the best outcomes? Just misplaced words or body language or gestures can damage relationships.
This article is a reflection of the impediments that can harm healthy interpersonal relationships.
Listening: Communication is also about listening—listening to understand and respond and not just listening to react or counter. When we listen, there is so much information that is gathered, and the quality of the output is far more qualitative because there was a conscious effort of being present and real.
Emotions are big contributors to commotions and chaos; emotions are enough to fuel a rocket to the moon. Keeping emotions at bay or controlled is great in maintaining a healthy, respectful relationship. You would have seen this happen to you; it has happened to me. The moment we let emotions take over, there’s a huge change in the body language, the heart starts pounding faster, the tone changes, the choice of words is on buffet choice, and the state of mind is a puddle of mud and the message you want to relay is totally out of tangent and may be out of scope. Huh!
Body language: It is a big giveaway to what you’re thinking or feeling. Subtle and correctly used can be soothing and can make us come across bold confident in control and even beautiful! Yes Beautiful. Who does not like to walk into a room full of people and display that well-perfected body poise and language? I’d love that! But does it happen all the time? No, not all the time. Avoiding eye contact, fidgeting with a pen, your tie, or anything you can get a hold of, crossing arms, or even a poor posture can dampen the connection you could have built. In my opinion, it all boils down to being confident in the right measure and being mindful of the moment, the intent, and the message you want to communicate. Rehearsing, choice of attire, comfortable shoes and yes putting in some practice sure goes a long way.
Finally, written communication: What has always worked for me is that I read and re-read my written communication more than once not only for grammar and sentence formation but also for my intent …am I conveying what I want to convey? Over years of experience, I never allow myself to write or reply when I’m angry, confused, or emotional, especially at the workplace. You will notice that the tone of your message reflects your current state of mind. If you’re angry, the tone of the email will come across as angry; if you’re confused, that’s how your text will read. If you are respectful and empathetic, you will reflect that emotion in writing. So, write with a calm composed mindset. Compose yourself when you communicate, or else you will end up writing follow-up emails just to explain yourself/intent. When you’re respectful, empathetic, and confident in yourself, interpersonal communications bear forth some very lasting relationships. They help in conflict resolution and problem-solving. A confident handshake, a respectful courteous email, a warm tone, and an engaging conversation are just a few ways to make your day and some days bright. We must remember that words are irretrievable. When words are true and kind, they can change our world.
To summarize it all – interpersonal skills must not be taken for granted. Interpersonal communication is crucial in relationships. Miscommunication often arises from misplaced body language or gestures. Effective communication involves self-awareness, active listening, and controlled emotions. Body language can reveal true feelings, and written communication should be composed and reflective of one’s state of mind. Respectful and empathetic communication fosters lasting relationships and aids in conflict resolution. Words and actions are powerful and should be chosen wisely. We must be cognizant that Artificial Intelligence & Robots are more than happy to take over the human dimension , may be even better if we are not responsible communicators.
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